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goodbye, darling

goodbye, dear.
goodbye, darling.
you are not all that i knew
        but most
        and i can’t be happy now.
not with trips (abroad);
with (designer) drugs;
with long walks without;
though i take them.

i abandon trees;
          embrace autumn,
when slightest wind leaves branches bare of leaves.

my anger with the setting sun:
        because you will leave and have left
nothing of what you had
        in your heart.
        in your head;
        in your hands;
        on your lips was some trace of me
some salt from when we kissed those nights into mornings into days
        into nights
                 i knew i was no one,
                 and no one else knew.

i have a history of righteous angels
        and family of right angles that were left
bent and behind. behind
        in twisted metal morbidly stretching upward
        after some aftermath after some big building
        fell on us.

but i escaped. no bone broken no eyes blackened no dust risen,
        i crawled into sunlight and lay toward the clouds.
        while you rush to me
        like a weeping ambulance
        or concerned civilant,
        i am flat and motionless, exposed and smiling.


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